


Mon Chevalier

by WindyQ



Category: Hunter X Hunter
Genre: Angst, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Fluff, Generic title I suck at titles, Gonkillu - Freeform, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, at the end!, killua centric, no beta we die like men
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-06
Updated: 2020-09-06
Packaged: 2021-03-07 01:41:54
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,528
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26328841
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/WindyQ/pseuds/WindyQ
Summary: Killua knows. He knows fairy tales aren't real. He learned that a long time ago, when the phases of praises and rewards were slowly faded out to leave nothing but pain, and he had wished for just one split second, that home was some tower, and some stupid knight was coming. But that place wasn’t a tower, not like in some book. It was a tower to him, but to them it was were the weak were killed and the strong were born.“Killua!”
Relationships: Gon Freecs & Killua Zoldyck, Gon Freecs/Killua Zoldyck
Comments: 6
Kudos: 73





	Mon Chevalier

**Author's Note:**

> Tw includes: This mess of writing, General bad bad vibes from Killua’s past, manipulation, mentions of torture, a big ‘ol wallop of angst, but some hurt/comfort/fluff around the end. It has a good ending basically! Killua deserves nice things.

“Big Brother! Big Brother!” There’s a shine in the silver haired youth’s eyes as he tugs at the sleeve of said older brother; even as the elder looks down with his emotionless stare, and answers with a simple ‘Hm?’ as if he is busy thinking of something else. Maybe Mother and Father had been discussing a new form of training for him with his big brother! 

They were always painful, his vocal cords had hurt for weeks from screaming, but after it was over his big brother would hold him while wiping away his tears, and cradle him, his face as emotionless as ever. Yet he would whisper and say things about how well he had done, and he was so strong, it made Killua happy. His big brother was proud of him, and that meant Mom and Dad were likely too, he wanted to make them all happy. Plus, after really bad sessions, they would let him eat all the ice cream and chocorobo’s he wanted. 

“Guess what? Today I read Alluka a story! It was really cool! It had dragons and wizards and a knight who saved a Princess! That was my favorite part!” 

Illumi goes cold, Killua doesn’t have to even look up to tell, there’s an aura that makes his smile fade, and color slightly drain from his cheeks, and when Illumi stops, Killua follows in that motion, frozen up and shaken. 

He becomes to scared to look up at his older brother, simply hearing his voice. 

“I see.” 

Blank, yet somehow cold, and his brother must have tilted his head to look down at him at some point, as Killua can feel his cold gaze, but he cannot bring himself to look up. He simply looks at the cool stone floor. As icy and frigid as his brother’s stare. 

“Kil.” 

He flinches involuntarily at the tone, knowing what it is. Shoving his trembling fingers in his pockets.

“You do know those stories are ridiculous, correct?” The haunting tone, had he done something bad? It was just a story, right? 

“There is no such thing as knights to save princesses or people. Isn’t that right, Kil?” 

Isn’t that right?

Isn’t that right? 

Kil. 

“I KNOW THAT!” 

The crackling sound of thunder, snaps him out of his nightmare like daze, ocean blue glazed over and fingers digging into freezing mud, trembles running up and down his body. Killua breathes out heavily, trying to regain a sense of serenity in his surroundings, back pressing further into the rough of bark, digging into his spine, through the wet thin cloth of his tank top. 

He brings his arms up and curls them around himself, not caring when mud drags across ghostly pale skin. His eyes and throat burn and his chest feels heavy. Killua chokes back a sob. He won’t cry. He’s been trained not to. 

Killua knows. He knows fairy tales aren't real. He learned that a long time ago, when the phases of praises and rewards were slowly faded out to leave nothing but pain, and he had wished for just one split second, that home was some tower, and some stupid knight was coming. But that place wasn’t a tower, not like in some book. It was a tower to him, but to them it was were the weak were killed and the strong were born. 

No one would ever save a killer. 

Stupid. 

He hisses the word out-loud, digging his canines into his bottom lip tasting copper, burying his claws into his skin, letting them break the surface until he can feel the shallow flow of blood. It mixes with the occasional droplet of water from the sky, dripping to the ground beneath. 

What was he even doing? 

It had started with a nightmare. Killua didn’t want to disturb Gon, or Mito, or Abe... he had left the small cozy little house, it had been easy with all his assassin training. 

He had ran, ran until his legs burned, and rocks and bushes had scrapped against his bare feet, and legs and ankles, and cut, and he had ran, and ran, until he tripped. And at that moment he wanted to laugh bitterly at Illumi, at how bad of an assassin he had been then. Laugh at how clearly they hadn’t trained him well enough. 

His shorts and top were still caked in mud, although the rain had cleaned some of it from cloth. His skin still had plenty of traces of how he had fallen, knees covered in pieces of grass sticking to wet flesh, blood and dirt. It stung, but the pain goes unnoticed by Killua, and he pulls his legs up close to his chest, burying his head in between his bony knees, dirtying his hair in the process, little bits of blood and dirt rubbing into pure white. 

Stupid. He was so stupid. 

“Killua!” 

“Killuuuuaaaa!” 

Great, now he’s hearing things. 

He digs his forehead further into his knees, laughing inwardly at his own stupidity, trying to pull in his body as close as he can, making himself as small as he can. 

“Killua?” 

“Killua!” 

Footsteps, obvious footsteps, squelching and crunching in the mix of mud and sticks. 

If Killua had an extra pair of hands he would cover his ears, but instead he chooses to ignore it. 

Ignore it. 

A hand touches his shoulder, and he almost shudders at the sudden warmth amongst the cold of his soaked body. 

“Killua? Are you okay?” 

He doesn’t want to listen. Dammit. Why does this voice have to sound so damm concerned? It makes guilt pool up in his stomach, and he can’t help but slowly lift his head, peeking his eyes up above his knees, although the rest of his face stays covered. 

Large warm bright eyes stare back at his, filled with concern, and Killua shifts his body slightly into the touch, for some reason he can’t comprehend. 

...Gon... 

“Geez, Killua scared me, Killua wasn’t responding at all, I was worried.” 

Killua blinks dumbfounded as Gon pouts ever so slightly, though the concern doesn’t dissipate from his features entirely. 

How had Gon found him? ...That was stupid question. Gon had a freakish nose... but Killua had been so sure he had been quiet... that no one would wake up when he left. 

He would question it, but he just feels so tired. 

“Killua’s a mess.” 

“...’m not... you idiot.” 

He mumbles placing his entire face between his knees once more. 

Gon frown at this but doesn’t respond in turn, simply looking Killua over, eyebrows pinching forward and eyes never loosing that hint of concern, if anything overflowing with concern now. 

He removes his hand from Killua’s shoulder, tugging his jacket off, mentally thanking himself that he had decided to bring it. 

He gently places it around Killua’s frame, making Killua stiffen. 

He looks up at Gon, glaring. 

“Don’t give this to me. You’ll catch a cold.”

Assassins don’t catch colds. But Gon, but Gon could so easily catch one, and Killua, Killua doesn’t want him to be harmed because of him... although his heart had almost burst out of his chest when he felt the warmth encircle him, and it pooled warmth in his stomach. 

“Don’t worry! I used to go out in the rain all the time! I’ll be okay! Killua should have it!” 

Killua looks at him incredulously, snorting. 

“You really are weird.” 

“I am not! Killua’s the weird one!” 

Killua gives Gon the stink eye while the other sticks out his tongue; the silver haired youth subconsciously bringing the green monstrosity of a jacket closer to his body. 

If Gon notices he chooses not to say anything, simply grinning like he had won some game, before turning around and placing his hands close to the small of his back, offering for Killua to climb up, so he could carry him. 

“Come on. Aunt Mito will get mad at us if she finds out we’ve been gone so long.” 

Killua is stuck frozen in place, looking wide eyed at Gon’s back, teeth biting down on his lip. One part of him wants to just refuse Gon, just jolt past him, run and never look back... but the other... 

“Your clothes will get dirty.” 

Instead is what he goes for. 

“That’s okay! Killua shouldn't push himself!” 

Mito might get mad is what he wants to say next, or he is perfectly capable of pushing himself to limits Gon is not even aware of. 

But he’s tired... and all these thoughts are weighing him down, and Killua reluctantly pulls himself to his feet, one hand clasped around the front of the jacket to keep it secure, and he walks over anxious. 

Looking back at the tree for one moment, before pulling himself up onto Gon’s back letting the boy’s hands fall under his knees, as he wraps one arm around his neck and then the other, burying his face in the crook of Gon’s neck. And he can feel Gon grinning. 

So warm. 

Normally he wouldn’t let his guard down this much, normally he wouldn’t give in like this, but just once, just this once he lets himself doze off.

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for reading this mess I apologize big rip. Can you tell I like Gon carrying Killua yet? It’s like something I see as a big comforting thing in a way idk diejjdjsowksks. And Killua deserves comfort and nice things. It was less of a focus, but it do be there xd. Illumi was esp a mess I dunno how bad I did with him, even more than Gon and Killua and well everything else imo, but lol maybe they all were bad, but I really did try my best. 
> 
> Feel free to add me on my discord! WindyQ#6831 We can chat or I RP Killu there and do anything from angsty shit like this here, or fluff uwuwuw, I only RP with my Sis at the moment, so like feel free to join my awkward messy ass I am lonelys xd. I also have a tumbles if you’re more into that! Boop. https://www.tumblr.com/blog/view/windyqs
> 
> Also if anyone is interested in a short sequel/extra chapter? but of like Gon helping clean Killua up, dw it’d be completely fluffy platonicish hurt and comfortish with a little/a lot of blushing on Killua’s part, but lots of comfort for the fluffy boy, and Gon’s a sweet boy lemme know! Or I might just do it eventually anyway cuz self restraint what’s that? I dunno if this will even get any reads xd, so asking is just a throw in the stream but. You know. If anyone did read thanks for reading! I forgot to put that in my first fic notes and I felt dumb dumb. But I appreciate it so much really!


End file.
